Sorry for the lapse

I try not to wallow ... yeah, I've lost some zeal and I've been reclusive as of late. I don't wallow when I'm alone but rather when I see other's interactions with me. As a human, I feel ovewhelmed; as a follower of Christ I know that all of this is directed by His hand and I will be at peace with the path my life is going.

I by no means am comparing myself to Job - for that I am not by any means a "Job" - I have committed many sins and strive to elimintate sin from my life everyday but I have learned much from this book as of late.

Job 12 begining with vs. 13:"To God belong wisdom and power; counsel and undertanding that are his... (vs.22) He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into light...(Ch 13 vs.1) My eyes ahve seen all this, my ears have heard and understood it."

Job 19:25 - "I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth"

As I know these things - I know too that this too will past. I know the Lord will take care of me and the surgeons with my hysterectomy on Tuesday. It's hard to accept that I'm 32 and losing my fertility forever. It's such an integral part of being a female - and now I'm losing it. It's not that I need anymore kids - I have 4 beautiful kids. I just didn't expect this right now but I know it's more than likely the best decision but wow - very unexpected.

Jenn